Terror Invisible
by Ginny Ha-ha
Summary: Ever wondered what REALLY happened in the Chamber of Secrets? Supposing... just supposing... J. K. Rowling got it wrong? And supposing... just supposing... this was what REALLY happened? You'd wanna find out... right...?


Terror Invisible

By Ginny :) 

This is set in Harry's second year... kind of. If you ignore the entire plot of book 2. Um. Vague plot similarities. Note the word; 'vague'. Don't ask. Just... don't. 

I have nothing else to say, other then; _MY MUSE MADE ME DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

____________________________________________________________________________________________ 

The full moon was high in the midnight sky. The rain hammered down onto the sodden ground. It was so cold and wet that the local bats were staying in their caves. Even unknown and hideous creatures, that were only known in local legend, hid in the forest, unwilling to go anywhere. The trees in the Forbidden Forest groaned as they were forced from side to side by the wind that whipped their branches. 

If a Hogwarts student had been looking out of their dormitory window at that moment, they would have seen the huddled figure, his cloak hood pulled up against the vicious wind, hurrying as fast as he could across the muddy ground, stumbling every now and then, his face distorted by the lashing rain. 

And it just so happened that someone was looking out of a window, albeit not their dormitory one. 

"Hey, Fred, come and look at this!" George Weasley called across to his twin. They had been on a midnight raid of the school kitchens, and were both carrying a substantial amount of food, to share out amongst the others in their dorm later that night. 

"What is it?" Fred crossed to the window, and squinted out, trying to see though the water that cascaded from the sky. 

"There's someone down there!" 

"You're kidding! Where?" 

"Must be a nutter," George said, matter of factly. 

"Too true. C'mon, I'm hungry. Lets get to the dorm and have a free- for- all!" 

"I just wonder who it is, though..." George frowned. 

"Like you said, it's just some nutter. Probably Snape; If _he_ isn't a nutter, I don't know who is." 

"Trewlawney is. But it couldn't be her..." 

"Nah, I couldn't quite imagine her camping out in a dangerous forest, in the pouring rain, in the middle of the night. Espeacially with all that occult jewelary. She'd rust," Fred paused "Look, are you coming or not?" 

"Yeah, alright." The twins turned away from the window, and, as fate would have it, never thought of the matter again. For a while, anyway. 

If they had stayed a bit longer, they would have seen something else. A creature emerge from the forest. A creature that had the power to terrify even the strongest person into submission. A creature that can only be described as extremely evil. It may have been unknown to Fred and George, but that didn't mean it didn't have Plans for World Domination. 

The original figure was approached by this new creature, and although their words were not decipherable from a distance of over 2 meters, due to the hammering of the rain, it was all too clear that they were up to no good. 

It might have been an hour later, that a particular Hogwarts pupil was snatched from her bed. 

*** 

The morning bell rang through the empty corridors, much to the annoyance of most of the Hogwarts students, who had fondly imagined that they had had another hour of sleep. 

Harry Potter woke with a start. He'd been having a dream about ponies, and had been rather enjoying it, actually. He grabbed his glasses from next to his bed, and put them on so that he could see clearly. The window in the opposite wall had been leaking in the night. There was a large puddle of water just underneath it. 

He clambered out of bed, and began to get dressed. 

"Hey, Ron," Harry called to his best friend, who was still asleep, "the bell's gone. It's breakfast time." 

"Right at this moment, I couldn't care less," Ron muttered sleepily, turned over in his bed, and promptly fell out of it. He sat up, rubbing his head. "Ow," he added. 

"You alright?" Harry laughed. 

"Fantastic. I fell out of bed and hurt myself, and I'll probably be crippled for life, but you know what? I couldn't be better!" Ron adopted a tone of heavy sarcasm. 

"Good, that's ok then." Harry replied. Ron tutted, and wasn't sure if Harry really was that dense, or was just trying to annoy him. Probably both. 

The rest of the Gryffindor boys also tumbled unwillingly out of their beds, one by one, complaining about school. 

"Potions first," Neville moaned "I hate potions. I hate Snape. I hate Malfoy. I hate getting everything wrong..." 

"Don't we all," Ron replied. "Gits," he added with feeling. He was in a bad mood after falling out of bed. Neville shrugged, and began to look for his hat. 

It was some time later when Harry and Ron actually came down into the Great Hall. Everyone was chatting and laughing, unaware of the fate of a particular student, and unaware of what Fred and George had seen only the night before. 

"Yum, yum, lovely toast," Ron helped himself to a large pile of the said food, heavily buttered and caked in marmalade. 

"Hello, good morning," Hermione swished across to her friends, and sat next to them purposefully, a large text book open next to her, to read while she ate. 

"Hi, Hermione." Harry greeted her. Ron just grunted a kind- of- welcome through his mouthful of toast. 

"Yes, hello. How much did you write for the Potions homework? I wrote about 6 pieces of parchment, but I don't think I remembered to get everything in, you know-" 

"Hermione, what does it matter?" Ron grabbed a nearby crumpet, "I've only written one piece of parchment. I mean, for all Snape is concerned, I could write 100 pieces, and I'd still get the same low grade." 

"Yes, but, that's not the point," said Hermione earnestly, "The point is-" 

"Uhm, s'cuse me?" a timid voice interrupted Ron and Hermione's argument, which Harry had been keeping out of. It was the only way to survive the day, really. 

The three friends looked round. Behind them stood a terrified looking first- year, who was blinking behind a pair of milkbottle- bottom glasses, and who sported short, bobbed, light hair, and who was chewing her bottom lip nervously. 

"What?" Ron scowled at her. His bad mood evidently still lingered. 

"Sorry, but, er, are you Ginny Weasley's brother?" 

"Maybe. I think I am." 

The girl looked confused. 

"He means 'yes'," Harry translated for her. 

"Oh... 'cause do you know where she is?" 

"Can't say I do," Ron leaned back in his chair, looking bored. 

"Um." The girl looked more nervous still. 

"What's wrong?" Harry asked. Ron wasn't helping, and the girl was obviously upset about something. 

"It's just that no one knows where she is. And what with all the attacks recently..." 

Harry nodded, and Ron still looked bored. Hermione was skimming through the pages of her book, looking for something, probably. 

There had indeed been a number of attacks recently, on several students [a/n; Yes, I know... Hermione would have been one of them... I don't care, I just realised and I'm not gonna do a re- write to a perfectly good fic now... besides, it's not needed, really. Also, Harry is _not_ under suspicion of being Slytherin's Heir, because I'm too lazy and it dosn't matter anyway...]. All of them had been found, petrified, with looks of horror on their faces. The first victim had been the caretaker's kamikaze cat, Mrs. Norris. Many students had celebrated her downfall. The one odd thing was, that her fur had gone into stiff little spikes, and next to here, was what appeared to be a large puddle of dry and shiny liquid, which, on closer inspection, turned out to be hair spray. It was all very odd. Also, every other victim seemed to have had something odd done to them; Justin Finch- Fletchley was wearing a face mask. Some Ravenclaw person seemed to be wearing musical socks, which no one had ever seen before, and which played 'Jingle bells' when pressed. Someone else was wearing sparkly hair clips and deely boppers, and since it was a Slytherin boy, it seemed increasingly unlikely that he was wearing them by choice. 

"Tell you what, we'll keep an eye out for her, and tell you if we see her, alright?" 

"yes, er, thankyou. Um." 

"OK?" 

"Yes. Er. Bye." The girl blinked at them from behind her glasses again, and then hurried off to sit with her friends. 

"Strange girl," Ron gulped down some orange juice. 

"You could have been a bit nicer to her," Hermione snapped "She looked terrified! And don't you care what happens to your sister?" 

"Well, nothing's happened. That kid must have just let her imagination run away with her." 

Hermione tutted angrily "Honestly! You're so insensitive! I don't know why I bother!" 

Silently, Harry wondered to himself why on Earth fanfic authors thought that his two friends should hook up. If he was those authors, he'd keep Ron and Hermione as far away from each other as possible. [A/n; ...shut up....] 

They finished breakfast, Ron and Hermione still arguing avidly about... something, the three friends got up to leave, only to be stopped by the magically magnified voice of Professor McGonagall, echoing through the school. 

"All students are to go to their house common rooms. No one is to go to lessons," -there was a cheer at this- "a teacher will escort you to your house common rooms. Anyone found out and about will be _severely_ dealt with." 

A ripple of talk ran through the school; 

"Do you think there's been another attack?" 

"What do you thinks happened?" 

"Woohoo! I get out of charms, and I didn't do my homework!" 

"I hope nothing's wrong..." 

"Who cares? No Charms! _YES_!" 

Harry looked at Ron and Hermione. Ron looked decidedly uneasy, and Hermione looked frightened. 

"You don't think-" Ron began. 

"I don't know..." 

"But Ginny couldn't've-" 

"No, someone would have said-" 

"That kid _did_ say..." 

"Yeah, but-" 

"Look," Hermione snapped the book that was next to her on the table, shut, and shoved it into her school bag, " _If_ Ginny's in any harm, the teachers'd _tell you_. And they haven't, so, I doubt that she is." 

"I suppose so..." Ron looked at his fingernails, as if suddenly fascinated by them. 

"Hey," Harry suddenly said "I know how we can find out!" 

"They'd tell him," said Hermione, patiently, "if it _was_ Ginny, they'd _tell_ him..." 

"Yes, but, I think we should tell the teachers what we know. That way, no matter whose in trouble this time, we could get them to, to sort the monster out!" 

They were now being shepherded along the school corridor to the Gryffindor common room, by Percy and a couple of other Gryffindor Prefects, or, as some people called them, 'The Hitler Youth'. 

"I suppose so..." Hermione frowned. 

"What do we know about the stupid monster, anyway?" asked Ron. 

"Well," Hermione began in a hushed voice as the entered the common room, "It's a Basilisk, so that's why only Harry hears it. It's being controlled by Slytherin's Heir, who is, obviously, also a ParselMouth. It's been getting around the school using pipes, through the entrance from Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. It's attacks seem to be on Muggle borns. And possibly Ginny." She added as an after thought. Ron bit his lip, and he seemed to be trying not to cry. But, as Hermione had pointed out, if it was Ginny, surely Ron would have been told? 

"OK, so, we'll tell the teachers that." 

"How'll we get out of the stupid common room, though?" 

"My invisibility cloak," Harry explained. 

"Of course." Ron rolled his eyes, annoyed._ 'Harry seems to have an answer for everything in this fic'_, he thought '_what is it with this author? She writes weird stuff. She can't even keep us characters properly in character. That is just plain freaky'_. It was lucky for him that the author was trying to keep to the plot, and didn't answer back, thus causing a pointless cliché, like of which she has written several of for everyone to enjoy flaming [a/n; That's right.... let your feelings flow...] 

They sat and talked until the commotion in the common room had calmed down, before Harry and Ron slipped off to the dormitory, and returned under the cloak. Hermione ducked under it too, and they left the room via the portrait hole. 

They moved as quickly as they could- extremely slowly, actually- along the empty corridors of Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft And Wizardry, which echoed their footsteps, making them seem unnaturally loud. Suddenly; 

"Ssh!" Hermione hissed "be quiet and don't move! Someone's coming!" 

They all froze, not moving, trying not to breathe too loudly, in case whoever it was should hear them. 

"Poor girl," the voice of Professor McGonagall echoed down the passageway "So terrible. I rather wish I wasn't the one who'd have to break the news to her brothers, but I suppose someone has to. Terrible thing." 

"Yes, tragic," the voice of Professor Snape replied, not sounding at all sorry, "Poor child. I'm afriad I'll have to leave you here, Minerva. I have something important to attend to." 

"Goodbye, Severus." 

"What '_important thing'_ has he got to attends to?" muttered Harry, as soon as their head of house was out of earshot, "Suspicious if you ask me." 

"Probably just needs to go and pickle the student he kept in detention today," Ron looked unimpressed "You know what he's like." 

"No, I think he's up to something." 

"Didn't I just say that?!" Ron pointed out. He added mentally '_This is just soooo cliché!'. _He was rather surprised when the answer came out of the air '_This is a cliché kind of fic. It has to be this way. Sorry.'_

Ron blinked at the air. OK, the Basilisk hadn't said much like _that_ before... apparently. Certainly not to him, anyway... this was more interesting then death threats to Harry... and it was talking to him instead of Harry for once! Hah! So it couldn't be a basilisk... unless he was a ParselMouth without knowing it. Um. 

_What're you blinking at, idiot?_

"Can you quit doing that?! It gives me the creeps!" Ron shouted at the empty air, earning some very weird looks from Harry and Hermione. 

"Who are you talking to?" 

"It's that Bas-." He quickly rethought this statement. It hadn't been threatening anyone this time, and what was the point? He'd quite happily confuse his friend. After all, it was them who always seemed to have the answer for everything. He didn't feel like helping them at the moment,"No one. No one at all." 

"Right. OK, let's follow Snape!" 

They continued after Snape, wondering why he was wandering round alone, when there was such an evil at work as the Basilisk. 

"Hey... why's he going into the girl's loos?" Hermione hissed. 

"I think he's on the Basilisk's side! And the entrance to the Chamber Of Secrets is in the girl's loos!" 

"That's pretty much what you thought in first year," Ron pointed out. 

"Yes, but this time I'm sure!" 

"Lucky you. Congratulations," Ron said sarkily. He wasn't impressed, you could tell. And he was still in a bad mood. 

"Oh, for heaven's sake cheer up, Ron!" Hermione tutted exasperatedly "Harry, do you think we can open the secret passage way into the Chamber?" 

"Yeah, I'll try.." Harry moved forwards and did exactly what he already did in the books that I am too lazy to write about. Anyway, he got it open and that's the important thing. 

The three looked at each other. The sink had moved away so that they could see into a long, dark passageway. Footprints in the mud and dust were clear proof that Professor Snape had been there just before them. 

Harry took a deep breath. 

"Alright," he said "let's go in..." 

"You first," muttered Ron "you're the hero of the story. You can save the day." 

"Yes, alright." Harry walked into the dank passage, followed closely, if a little reluctantly, by Ron and Hermione. 

The passage was dark. Cold. Rank. The floor was slippery. The walls, as Hermione discovered when she tripped and had to put out a hand to break her fall, covered in thick scummy fungi. The air was moist and had a putrid feel about it. 

"What on earth could Snape have down here?" Harry wondered out loud. Ron and Hermione shrugged. 

"The Basilisk is probably his," Harry continued, oblivious to the fact that this seemed blatantly obvious, and anyway, no one cared. So long as it didn't eat anyone, they were happy. Well; happy- ish. It's hard to be happy about fanged monster living under your school, as any Hogwarts student could tell you. 

"AGH!" 

Their screams rent the air, as the floor suddenly seemed to vanish beneath their feet, and they were slipping, sliding and bumping down a slope, which fell at a steep angle towards the floor. 

"Owwww...!" 

They picked themselves out from the tangle at the bottom of the slope, nursing their bruised elbows and knees. Hermione, had however, been knocked out when she fell, having hit her head on the stone. 

"Hermione?!" Harry tried to shake her awake. 

"She's not moving, Harry." 

"Yes, I can see that. _Hermione_, wake _up_!" 

She, very definitely, didn't. 

"You should put her in the Recovery position," Ron supplied helpfully. 

"_Yes_, I _know_..." Harry did just that. Hermione didn't wake up, but there wasn't much they could do about that, really. 

There was a dim kind of light in the place they were now. The source of it was not certain, but at least they could see. 

The room was large, and fairly empty. The walls were covered in ornate carvings, which, in turn were covered in damp mould. To one side, there was a gateway, leading into what was presumibly yet another passageway. 

The two friends stared around. 

No, Harry decided, this certainly wasn't his kind of place. 

"Ron," Harry hissed to his friend. Even this quiet word seemed to be echoed around the chamber, so that it seemed at least 100 times louder, as if repeated over again by many voices, belonging to invisible victims of the chamber's secret. Whatever the secret actually was. 

"What?" 

"You stay here and look after Hermione. We can't leave her here on her own." 

Ron was severly tempted to ask why not, but decided that this would not be a good idea. So instead he said; 

"OK." 

"Right. I'm going to go down the passage over there and see if I can find whoever it is that's gone missing and get them out of here and then... and then I'll come back here. And that. You don't never know what lives down dark passages, actually." he finnished lamely. 

"If Hermione wasn't all knocked out she'd be correcting your grammer." 

"Yes, well. Goodbye!" 

"Good luck." 

"Thanks." Harry took a deep breath and walked towards the forbidding tunnel. He paused at the entrance. There was something inscribed there [a/n; I appologise in advance for this poem. Poems are not my strong point. I'm sure a brain- dead gnat could do better...]; 

_A joke's a joke_

_And real life's real life,_

_But which means trouble_

_And which means strife?_

_You have to know_

_When the joke ends_

_For real life to regain_

_You and your friends._

_ So, although some of this'll be _

_Too much to believe,_

_Can you tell what's what?_

_Or will you just leave?_

_Does the author know_

_What on Earth's going on in this story?_

_Or is it not a story_

_And will this make you great glory?_

_You might think glory,_

_You might not._

_The author might think story;_

_But has this story gone to pot?_

_Is there an author?_

_Or is there a You?_

_Enter and you may well find out_

_Just which is true!_

Someone else had added underneath; 'But you might not_. _You might be too fictional to care_.' _Which really did the poem no favours, bad as it already was [a/n; having been composed in a matter of seconds, I'm not surprised]. 

Harry frowned. He supposed that the poem must have a final meaning to it, but why didn't the writer just put something like 'tell us if you can tell the difference between real life and fantasy, and we'll let off the hook, all right, cully?' 

"You going?" Ron called after him. 

"Yeah... wish me luck." 

And he entered the passageway. 

He was beginning to wonder when the tunnel was going to end, when he caught sight of a limp figure lying in the corner, and did everything he first did about Ginny in book 2, because it was her. 

Then he looked up. A girl was standing not far away, watching him, looking amused. 

"Help me!" 

She kept staring at him. She didn't say anything, but smiled. 

"Look," he tried to move the body that was Ginny, "Are you just going to sit there and, and, watch me? She's dying!" 

"No, she isn't. Not yet, anyway. She's probably gonna hang around on this Earth as long as she can just to annoy people. I know I would," the girl shrugged. 

"Well, we have to move her!" 

"No," the strange girl corrected him "you shouldn't move an injured person. In case o' broke' bones. Try doing the ABC on her." 

"ABC?" 

"Airways, er... airways... er. Airways, buses and, er, culture? I don't know, I always hated first aid lessons." 

"That's the least of our worries! Help me!" 

"Harry, don't you get it?" 

"Get what? And who are you? How do you know my name?" 

"First, I'm on your side. Secondly, who I am is of absolutely no relevance what- so- ever. Third, I've read the books." 

"What books...? And I'm sure I recognise something about you... you're not one of those American fanfiction writers, are you?" 

"I've never been to America in my life. I've been to Switzerland. That's a nice place," she paused "got nice mountains. Lots of snow on them...." she paused "But look, doesn't this all seem wrong to you?" 

"Eh?" 

"I mean," the girl continued, flicking a strand of long hair over her shoulder "I'm sure your Basilisk and Voldemort theory _sounds_ good, but, is it true?" 

"I don't see why it couldn't be." 

"Yes, your theory seems to make sense, but really, there's something _far more_ sinister behind it..." the girl glanced warily around, as if looking for something unseen. 

"What could be more sinister then a Basilisk? And what happened to professor Snape anyway? I'm sure he must have come down here..." 

"He did, and he's on your side too." 

"He is?" 

"Yes. Well, I told him to join your side." 

"And he _did_ it?" 

"No. So I told him that if he didn't, he might just find him own wand shoved up soem rather upleasent part of his anatomy." 

"Ah... okay. Well, where is he then? And what's your version of events, if my Basilisk theory is so wrong?!" 

The girl drew something out of her pocket "Like the wand? It's new." 

"That's not a wand!" Harry objected. 

"No, but I have a really bad props master, and it's the nearest I could find. It still looks good, doesn't it?" 

She brandished the thick stick. It had a few leaves growing out of it. Harry had a feeling that, if not an actual _wand_, if you waved it about near someone, they would probably do whatever you wanted anyway. 

"Besides," she continued "My mum wouldn't let me near a real one. I'd probably blow something up with it." 

Harry thought that a real wand could be no less dangerous then a giant stick when being controlled by the girl, who looked not much older then him. 

"Uhm... yeah," he paused "but _what about the Anti- Basilisk theory?_!" 

"I never said I was anti- basilisk. You probably don't even know Voldemort's Basilisk's name." 

"I don't see what that's got to do with anything!" 

"It's Mr. Bubbles," the girl was obviously not listening to him "and it bit him- Voldemort- once. Because he stepped on it's tail." 

"Look," Harry tried reasoning with her, having given up on ever finding out what her theory was, "let's just go now, right? And what's with that poem on the entrance to this place? It made out there'd be some big task or something for me to have to complete..." 

"Oh, that. I wrote that when I was bored. Mum told me to tidy my room, and I told her I was doing something, and so I wrote the poem just to _prove_ that I was doing soemthing, and- what are you doing, you gumbo? You shouldn't move injured people, I already told you that." 

Harry had been trying to move Ginny again. She was heavier then you'd think, when it came right down to it. 

"I just want to get out of here!" Harry pushed the hair out of his eyes, "I mean, what are you trying to do? Bore me to death?!" 

The girl looked offended, "I'm on your side, stupid," she twirled the 'wand' between her fingers as best she could, which was quite badly, really, "Anyway, I'm actually going to explain everything now. So, here we have your Typical Master Villain Who Loves The Sound Of His Own Voice to do just that!" 

Much to Harry's surprise, a hidden door to his left slowly creaked open. Inside, as Harry had suspected, was Snape. Tied to a chair. _Best place for him_, Harry thought.... but what was the girl on about...?! 

"I thought you said he was on our side?!" 

"Oh, he is." 

"Then why did you say he was-" 

"Oh, he's a Typical Master Villain type- thing, _but_, see, he isn't one really. He's just a typical example of one, even though he isn't really and because of JKRowling and all that jazz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The girl beamed at him. Harry had a feeling that, if that last sentence was to be written out, she would have been using far more multiple exclamation marks then sanity would surely dictate. He decided not to comment. 

"So, Mister," The girl smiled at Snape, waving her leafy stick around a bit more, "Why don't you tell him what's happening." 

Snape paled a little at the sight of the stick. Harry noticed that Snape's wand was no where to be seen. 

"_Don't_ talk like that to me, _little girl_, or-" 

"Or you'll take points off of my house?!" 

"I'm perfectly entitled-" 

"I'll have you know that my school House has come last for the last few years _anyway_, and besides, you aren't allowed to take points off, because I don't go to this school. _Duh _." 

Snape glared at her even more fiercely, if that was possible. The girl beamed at him even more brightly, if possible. 

"Also," she added, with the air of one who is really enjoying 'scoring' off an enemy, "We don't live in the same dimensions. So you couldn't hurt me if you tried. Not even if you did the Unforgivable Curses." 

"Fine..." Snape muttered at length, "Fine..." 

"So explain for Heaven's sake!" 

"Fine. Right. Well," Snape gave the girl an _even worse_ look then the one he usually reserved for Harry, "There is an evil at work in this school." 

"We _know_ that!" The girl looked annoyed "Even _he_ knows that!" 

"Hey! If you're just going to insult me, I won't help you!" Harry interupted. He wasn't that stupid, really, he thought. 

"And why should I care?" 

"Er-" 

"Exactly. Continue, Professor. Please. Just tell us who has been behind these attacks." 

"Why can't you?" 

The girl rolled her eyes "because I don't belong in this dimension, so its your job, _actually_. JUST TELL HIM!!!!! The readers are probably getting bored." 

"Well, the person behind the attacks is...." there was a loud blast of 'DUN DUN DUUUUNNNN' music. Harry didn't know where it came from, but he didn't stop to wonder at it, as Snape finnished; "Lockheart." 

"_Lockheart_?!" Harry was astounded. 

"Of course. 10 points from Gryffindor for being the biggest fool in Christendom," Snape replied cooly. 

Harry turned to the girl "Can you-" 

"What would I want to make him add more points onto your house for?" 

"...." 

"Well, quite." 

Harry decided to return to the matter at hand "Look," he said, in the voice of one who is absolutely sure that he is sane, even when everyone else is not, "How could it have been Lockheart?" 

"Well," the girl said, pushing Snape back into the room he came from, much to his annoyance, "He's been manufactoring and selling hair- care and beauty products for... a while now, and let's just say, they didn't exactly take off. So, he decided to try and convince some students to buy his makes. Unfortunately, he didn't, apparently, realise that the hair spray he was using on them contained an ingreadient that had the unfortunate effect of petrifying people who used it. He didn't use ti himself, of course, because he could afford much better and posher brands. Got that?" 

"Then... what about Ginny? Why her?" 

"You have to admit that she wasn'tm much of a choice," the girl wrinkled her nose "But basically, she was to be a human ginea pig. Lovely, eh? Fate worse then death, being made to test Gilderoy Lockheart's products, if you ask me. I suppose that Ginny was as good a choice for Lockheart's randomness as anyone else in the world." 

"Um. I suppose so," Harry shrugged. Ginny was still very difinitely unconcious, but she didn't seem to be getting worse. Then another thought occurred to Harry. 

"What about the voice I heard? All that 'let me rip you' stuff..." 

The girl laughed loudly at this, and with great ammusement "I thought that was rather funny, you know!"  
"Obviously. But _why_? And _what_?" 

"Oh, that was me." 

"Eh?" 

"_Well_, it gets pretty boring in my dimension every so often, so I thought 'hey, why not go and scare someone senseless?', and you were the obvious choice, because you'd blame it on your being a parselmouth, which was really pretty ammusing." 

"So... there's no Basilisk?" 

"Oh, yeah, there's a Basilisk alright," the girl grinned "but it dosn't like strangers and it's hiding at the moment." 

"It would be." Harry was beginning to get the feeling that life wasn't all it was cracked up to be. 

"Hey, I'll go and get him, and then we can go and fight Lockheart and beat him, and then feed Snape to the Basilisk, ok?" 

"I don't have to fight it do I? I'm not exactly Bolareophon." [A/n; I seem to remember that Greek hero Bolareophon fought and killed the Basilisk, according to legend. But I'm not sure.] 

"Yes, you can if you like." 

"Will it help?" 

"No." 

"Er. OK. Look, do you want to tell me who you are, yet?" 

"Oh, alright. I'm the author." 

"Jo Rowling?" 

"Goodness, no!" she laughed "More like Phoebe, aka Ginny :)!" 

"Alright, fine. When can I go home?" 

"When you've fought Lockheart and everyone is living happily ever after, you daft sod. I'll be right back, by the way." She snapped her fingers and dissapeared in a puff of violently pink smoke. 

Harry stared after her for a few seconds, before decideding that he had better pay some more attention to Ginny, or else people would be bound to blame him afterwards. 

"Ginny..." he shook her. Her head lolled from side to side, "Ginny, wake _up_..." 

The he became aware of a boy watching him, and a definite sense of de ja vous. He was more then a little annoyed to discover that the author had given up on her story and it's shameless self- insertion, and decided that it would be far more interesting to let him fight a man- eating Basilisk. 

_Life_, he thought, _don't talk to me about life_. 

_ So much for fanfiction._

_Huh._

....And they all lived happily ever after! 

____________________________________________________________________________________________ 

THE END! AT LAST! OK, that was weird, pointless and... very very silly. I should probably have cut down on the self insertion, but never mind. 

As this was my first ever full- length fic, [53 fics later... lolz] PLEASE R/R AND TELL ME HOW MUCH YOU HATED/ LIKED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

You don't know how tempted I was to download this under 'horror' or 'mystery', but I decided against it. Oh well. I'm gonna go now before I bore y'all to death. 

Ginny :) 


End file.
